For the Unknowable Zen
Copyright 2024, John Manimas
December 2024: The Meaning of Life. What is this strenuous search for meaning? It is a painful blessing that makes you what you are. There is no meaning other than life itself. A bee on a blossom, a bird diving, an elder walking between the seaweed and the foam. There is nothing greater than these miracles. You strive in your search for meaning because the Origin approves if you are comfortable, but not if you are satisfied.
(November 2024) Death: I went out for a walk. As I passed by a funeral home I saw a man somewhat familiar to me sitting on the porch steps weeping. I approached him gently and asked "Who died?" He spoke through his sobs "My best friend's wife." I said "I'm sorry for your loss." He coughed and wiped his wet eyes with his hands and said, "I'm not crying because she died. I'm crying because I'm still alive."
(November 20, 2024) Insight: A friend who happens to be blind was standing in my room facing a window. I was sitting but also facing the window. My friend said "Who came in?" But I did not see or hear anyone come in. How did he know?
(11/16/24) Memories: Squirrels bury acorns in the fall and some of them sprout to become oak trees. Scientists say that the squirrels forgot where they buried some of the acorns. But on what basis do we argue that a repeated pattern of behavior is accidental rather than a conscious plan to achieve a goal? Thousands of people are homeless, millions are impoverished, repeatedly. Why does this happen? Could it be that the people have forgotten something?
(10/2024) The Neighbor: I went out for a walk. I noticed the most amazing flower by the roadside. It looked like a type of daisy, but with bigger, wider petals. Each petal had a dark blue stripe on each side. The stripes met before the petal point and merged into a red star. I had no love interest at the time, so I thought of my neighbor Mrs. Snyder. She was an elder sweetheart, as generous as wild berries. Mrs. Snyder was as kind as the grass grows green. Made donuts and pies, almond cookies from heaven. I knocked on her door. Thought she must have been asleep. I left the flower in a tea cup of water on the small table outside her door. I kept waking up that night. It was very quiet and still. The flower was gone in the morning and I haven't found that kind of flower again, or that kind of neighbor.
(10/30/2024) The Being: I grow flowers and fruits and vegetables and take care of animals. I bring plants and animals into my home. I have chosen some useful plants and animals to be sustained and survive as long as I exist. I can exterminate any plant or animal, and have already dispatched a few of each. Every twenty years I cull the male population through violent warfare, reducing the percentage of breeding males who are mediocre in combat or below average in the arts and science of destruction. What am I?
(2024) Flying: I went out for a walk. Suddenly a medium-sized rubber ball came bouncing toward me and stopped at my feet. I looked around but saw no one who could be the owner of the ball. I bounced the ball on the pavement. Then I threw it up into the air and caught it. Then I threw the ball across somebody's front lawn. The ball flew through the air without having wings. Impressive, I thought, for a ball.
(2024) Healing: I went out for a walk, and saw a bearded man who was dressed like Jesus walking toward me. When we met we stopped and stared at one another. I said, "You look like Jesus. Are you really Jesus?" "I believe so," he answered. I said, "I know that you are a great healer. My body is sick with several ailments. Will you heal me?" He said, "I am sorry but I cannot heal you." I asked, "Why not? If you are really Jesus?" He looked straight into my eyes and he said, "You are not receptive. You have invested all of your life selfishly giving to others. Why do you create so much poverty and suffering? I cannot heal you because you are really sick and I am really Jesus."
(10/2024) For the Unknowable Zen: The Friends: I went out for a walk on a cool, sunny day. I noticed ahead of me, walking toward me, were a camel and a cat walking together. They appeared to be talking to one another. When I met up with them, we all stopped and paused. The camel said, "Hello. Nice day." Startled, I looked around and saw no other person watching us. I said, "Something is wrong here." Then the cat said, "What?"
(2024) The Spirits: I have been curious about the spiritual or invisible world all of my life. I have mourned the difficulty I have reaching or understanding the spiritual world. Last week in a dream a spirit came to me in the middle of the night and said to me: "Tell me about it! We are so very frustrated also, because we are rarely able to get you to listen. We have so much to tell you!"
(10/24) The Funeral: My heart stopped a month ago and oxygen no longer got to my brain cells. But I can still hear, see, smell, feel, think, contemplate, examine. I am still conscious. Why do people say that I died?
(10/14/24) The Walk: I went out for a walk and meditated while I walked. I returned home. Did I visit the world or did I visit myself?
(10/12/24) The Memory: If I have a memory of happiness, is that a type of happiness or is it just a type of memory?
(10/11/24) The Fire: Does the fire grow cold before it goes out or does it go out first and then grow cold?
My Home
I will go home someday, to my home planet,
to the place where I belong, not here.
Nature is very large. Mistakes are made.
And mistakes are corrected.
I was dropped off here by no honest intent,
just like a letter delivered to a wrong address.
I will be returned to my rightful place,
not by dying, because in my home death is not necessary.
It is not like the earthly heaven,
because heaven is too long to be real,
and as infinite in its boredom as its holy silence.
Where I live, all are healthy and kind.
There are no starving children,
no selfish people of any age,
no one is excessively proud or rich.
No one feels ashamed.
In my home everyone is both happy and sad,
happy for the blessing of life on a good planet,
full of grace,
sad for all those left on earthly rocks,
where time is a sentence to mystery and permanent injustice,
errors and losses as numerous as the stars,
therein a heavy breath of regrets as requisite as vital organs,
a way of living comprised of endless conflict,
technology that replaces any problem with three or four.
I may take memories of this place,
but I will not mourn any loss.
My home accepts love and its return.
All hearts are warm and strong.
Everyone has a brain and courage,
love for all that lives,
and a faith in life -- that it is good.
And that there is no end, no collapse,
no dissolution into nothingness.
At home in my home, I welcome you,
Unless there is something here you want to keep.
If there is something here, anything,
that you must keep, even your religion,
then it is here you will stay,
forever.
-- John H. Medeiros July 2018
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