Looking, Seeking

I brought reason to the table thinking

It would be helpful and thought so,

But it has not been received as well as

The drama that stirs men's loins and women's

Whatever is so stirred the same or not

That being an issue of our times and for

All times probably considering that God

Had a mother – we suppose – and my

Reason is not viewed as a path to salvation

Or the solution to the problem or problems

That we face, having created them ourselves

and their being so big, so huge, so beyond our

control because we cannot control ourselves

and my being poor is not seen as bad but just

a limitation unknown to the rich who have

what they need and much more and power and

the right stuff and lots of stuff and too much of

everything so that we cry out for food where

there is too much food and we cry out for safety

where everyone lives in a castle or fortress of one kind

or another and we do seem to me to be forever

struggling with how will we ever capture the secret

of the self-destruction that we see and feel coming

and watch and ingest like a play, a dinner,

a spectacle, a parade, a program, a vacation trip,

a film, a story, groceries and furniture to be unpacked

and sorted and placed, all to be included in the

immeasurable flow of our trash, our waste, all that

becomes waste which is all that was begat by our

ancestors, by us, who are ancestors to those who might

We long for permanence but we bring the permanence

of death.

We shout across the universe that we want peace above

All else, but just in case our peace is not available

We have in stock the means for permanent death.

To be clear, all I wanted was truth and beauty,

But the response to my request was not what I wanted.

The way eternal rebuked me.

A teacher said "The way eternal has no name," and I said

That if the way eternal is not my eternal name then

The name eternal shall have no way.

Let the empty cruelty of silence be my eternal peace.

Let there be no remnant nor record of either good or evil.

Erase all that is.

Let there be neither glory nor embarrassment.

God taught us to be kind and therefore let us act

Accordingly: God, you are forgiven.

John Manimas Medeiros, June, 2023