If superior intelligent beings are observing us, I know what they are thinking: Are these stupid, intractably hysterical bastards ever going to get past Junior High and graduate to Senior High?

The problem is not that humans are immoral. The problem is that humans spend 90% of their time and energy obsessing about morality when they should be taking care of business, and taking care of business means taking care of one another and taking care of the life supporting environment. This is in fact the mission message that Jesus Christ intended to deliver from an "unspecified" source of scientific knowledge to the human species, but the human species was still in the seventh grade then -- and apparently still is now -- and was more concerned with infantile sex then with the important message that Jesus so desperately tried to send home.

What about adulterous women? Shouldn't we stone them to death? What about when a woman marries brother after brother because they all died, who will be her husband in heaven? -- How far up your ass is your head? Men and woman don't have spouses in heaven. They may not even be men and women. What the hell is your concern about what happens after you die, idiot? Why don't you get your ass focused on what you are doing while you are alive! Why stone a woman for doing what a man wanted her to do? Isn't that what men always want in the first place, to control women?

From where did you get your authority? Oh, here it is, I got a certificate from the United Philosophers of Old Shuffleboard Association. Who gives a flying shit where his authority is from? What about this: Is what he says true? What is he talking about, really? Is he telling us to not sin? That seems odd, because he forgives sins and he hangs out with sinners. Is he just a performer, a con man? He's so rebellious! Uuu, I love that! But he will wind up dead, of course, being so non-conformist and critical of the authorities. The authorities don't like that.

Duh! What authorities don't like what? How about all authorities don't like anyone challenging their authority. Isn't that about right for a description of human behavior?

Would you kindly read Matthew Chapter 23 and ask yourself if it looks like a description of persons in authority two thousand years ago? A thousand years ago? Five hundred years ago? How about yesterday? How about where you work? How about in your family? How about in your own mind?

Morality. Was he real? Was he human? Was he God? Did he have sex? What does a crucifixion feel like? Wasn't it awful for a nice man to be crucified? Yeah, it was, but do you have any idea how many nice men and nice women who offered a different opinion have been executed by the authorities since Throg first had a thought and told someone?

Break the damned icon. Tell yourself, shout it or sing it in your brain: Jesus was teaching science! Jesus was telling us what we need to know! Since that is what he was trying to tell us, read the Gospels and play by this rule: If there is any doubt or uncertainty or controversy about anything he said or did, it has to be science. It has to be true and it all has to be scientific and consistent as a unified whole. The "kingdom of heaven" is real and it has a scientifically real meaning. Good stewardship is real and it has a scientifically real meaning. Does this sound like hard work? It may be, for you. But if you suspect this issue might be important; if you would like to check out this idea before you participate in the suicide of human civilization, read The Primacy of Stewardship: The Handbook for Christians Who Believe in Democracy. Why not? You have been listening to the morality gig for centuries, without end, over and over again you have been told in a thousand different sets of words the same thing over and over again: Jesus was teaching morality to children and childlike adults, telling people to be nice and don't be mean. You probably take drugs. Try this new drug: Jesus taught science. It may be the life saving drug that you need.

Here's a snap quiz to help you out. Stories of alien abductions often include the abductee being advised that the human species could be destroyed in a great war. Does that sound like a message from God? Like important information? Would God teach that? So here is your snap quiz. One question, one answer:

A) A strange looking character appears in your bedroom at night and you are not sure whether you are dreaming or it is all real. The strange character says: "Be careful, humans could be destroyed in a great war."

B) A strange looking character appears in your bedroom at night and you are not sure whether you are dreaming or it is all real. The strange character says: "I see you! Don't play with your twiddle dee do!"

Which one of these is most likely to be God?

And by the way, now that you have taken the snap quiz, here is another question. Which one of these is most similar to the real message from Jesus? Study the Gospels! Here is a free sample: When Jesus was teaching his disciples, he told them that there are false prophets and you can tell the difference between a false prophet [bad person] and a true prophet [good person] by their fruits, which means by their results, by the results of their teaching or their labor or their work or whatever they do. Their fruits are their results just like a good apple is the result of a good apple tree. This is a scientific concept. It is not just moral philosophy. Now watch this: While John the Baptist was in prison, he asked some of his disciples to find Jesus and ask Jesus if he was "the one," the Messiah that they were looking for or should they keep looking. Do you know how Jesus responded? Check it out, preferably in a Bible that was published before 1950. He did not say "Yes I am," or "No I am not." He said, "Tell John that the lame walk and the blind see; the lepers are cleansed and the Gospel is preached to the poor." In Jesus' time, preaching to the poor was the equivalent of public education. But it took us another 1800 years to have public education. We are slow! That is true, but we don't have to be dead. Pick up the pace my friend, read and believe. He was teaching SCIENCE, not morality.