Botland

Copyright 2013, John Manimas Medeiros

A recent magazine article described a variety of robotic insects that were described as having great potential as technological assistants in the foreseeable future.  For example, robotic bees could be used to pollinate crop plants, since the biological bees possess the physical limitations and ecological needs of a natural animal.  While I admire the technological achievement in the making of a robotic insect, this proposed use of a robotic insect did cause me to ask myself what happens when biological animals, such as frogs and birds, catch and eat robotic insects?  Clearly there would be an unexpected challenge to the digestive system.  In fact, the metal, plastic and carbon parts of a realistic, but not real, robotic insect, would most likely kill any biological animal that came into contact with it, certainly would kill any animal that tried to eat it.

 

There must be a technological solution to that problem also, of course, now that we no longer need slimy, stinky nature to meet our needs, and every problem has a technological solution.  We will be able, of course, to build robotic amphibians, reptiles and birds to keep the robotic insects under control.  Plastic grass and shrubs will remain bright and compact indefinitely, and will eliminate the nasty labor of landscaping and lawn maintenance.  All the workers who now perform the services of lawn maintenance, gardening, and grounds keeping will be able to go home and eat a rubber sandwich and take a nap on the couch with their robotic dog.

 

Lakes, ponds and rivers could be filled with diesel fuel, to avoid creating a catch-all for bacteria, and they could be filled with robotic fish designed to snap at silicone worms and aluminum crickets.  To bring this revolution in creative technology to its logical and grand conclusion, the hopelessly stupid humans can be removed and processed for their proteins and minerals, and replaced with robot people, who will sit on a park bench and watch glucose clouds float by in a holographic sky, looking like the face of Jesus on a slice of polyvinyl toast.

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